Thankful...yet nervous

I am very blessed to have such a wonderful family, to have a heathly family, to have a beautiful roof over my head, and to have my amazing tight nit circle of friends....... something is plaguing me

I'm nervous about going to work tomorrow. I'm nervous about starting school in two weeks i have the fear i am over my head with taking so many classes and working so much. I'm afraid that i am going to be fired from my job and be stuck with a $1500.00 + tuition bill that i can not pay. I have no reason to feel this way the classes are not going to be to hard and I'm not in any trouble at work. I just hate having to work so very hard every day of my life. I need to be a more outgoing person i need to try to work harder to get to know people and be known but it is so difficult for me. Have you ever felt that you don't belong here? That there is supposed to be more or less to your life but you don't know what it is? I do every day. I ask god and some days its clear an others it is clear a quick sand.

Ten New Year's Resolutions for Entry-Level Workers

by Peter Vogt

MonsterTRAK Career Coach

The dawn of a new year can be depressing if you focus on all the things you could or should have done the last 12 months. But if you look to the future, you can turn things around, especially if just starting your post-college career.

How? By making a few career-related New Year's resolutions and committing yourself to achieving them in the next 12 months.

Need some ideas? Feel free to borrow one of these:

Ask More Questions

I will acknowledge that my college degree, while valuable, hasn't taught me everything I need to know to be successful in the world of work. If I don't understand something, I'll say so -- and then ask my more experienced colleagues for guidance. This will earn me my colleagues' admiration by demonstrating my curiosity and ability to say, "I don't know, but I'm willing to learn."

Reach Out to Colleagues I Don't Know

I won't wait for people I don't know to welcome me to the organization -- I'll seek them out and introduce myself. This will show self-confidence, approachability and respect for others, which in turn will help earn my colleagues' respect.

Find a Mentor

I'll establish a collaborative relationship with a more seasoned professional in my field who can be a sounding board and support my career development, providing me the benefit of new career wisdom.

Document My Successes

I'll create a spot such as a box, folder or file drawer where I can store proof of my professional activities and achievements, such as brochures I've written, budgets I've developed or educational plans I've created for clients. This will give me organized evidence of my accomplishments for both future employers and myself.

Learn a New Job-Related Skill

I'll pick a skill area like writing, developing Web sites or presenting to large groups and work on it by taking a course at a nearby college or university or through a local community education program. My goal will be to build on an existing strength or learn how to better manage a weakness.

Volunteer to Work on a Challenging Project

I'll look for or create a way to push slightly outside my professional comfort zone to gain new skills as well as the experience to help me climb the ladder within my current organization or advance elsewhere.

Build Expertise in My Field

I'll read industry publications and attend professional conferences when time and money allow, expanding my knowledge base and demonstrating my ongoing commitment to my chosen field.

Expand My Network

I'll get involved in at least one professional association to meet people outside my own organization. I'll also set up periodic meetings with fellow professionals in my area to learn about what they do and how. This will acquaint me with more people in my industry and help them get to know me so I can get (and give) career assistance when necessary.

Spot Solutions as Well as Problems

I'll go to my colleagues and superiors not just to air concerns, but also to propose ways to effectively address them. I'll cultivate a reputation as someone who both sees and solves problems.

Get a Life

I'll revive a favorite pastime or pursue a new one so my entire identity isn't built around my career. This will give me the type of work/life balance that will make this coming year a great one, both professionally and personally.

Second hand................... isn't so good.

My parents are garage sale, action estate sale junkies. No pun intended. that is what they do for fun. They do not go to the movies, concerts ect. They go sales. Mind you my parents are great a home improvement projects and gardening but other then that they watch tv and go to sales.

At first, i loved this idea getting stuff for cheap and looking around for a deal. But now i have learned my lesson mind you i will still go to garage sales but i will be careful what i buy. So many things my parents have bought me "cheap" from auctions are NOW sitting broken in my garage not knowing what i will do with it:

Here is the list :

1. two broken bicycles ( one from a flea market in denver and one a friend gave me) both unfixable with out cash put into them.
2. Two broken gas grills (one bought from an action one a neighbor gave me) one needs a $25.00 new hose - it leaks gas. one needs a new burner $30.00 that burned out
3. A food processer by hamilton beach that does not even work. I thew it away.
4. An ugly armor with broken drawers in my bed room we are using. draws cant stay on the track
5.two sets of washer and dryers.

So by the time you get the item from the action, haul it home. use it for three months to a year and it dies. then you are not only stuck with this large broken item, you don't know what to do with but you need to by another one. My mom bought a chipped rice cooker for $10 rather then buying a brand new one for $20 and luckly it works. Im not ungrateful for what i get its just buy the time you get done replaceing the things that are broken that you recieved second had you could by a brand new one and save the money and the hassel.

So i am saying no to actions and second had items unless its a great deal and a good quality.
I dont think i will ever by a used appliance or electronic again. I bough a great pleather recliner for $20 but other than that everything else has gone ca-put on me. I told my mom about my problems and she told me she was offened but now i see them buying brand new things.....a new grill for themsleves on black friday ect......... so may be what i said rubbed off........... anyway i have to find a polite way to tell them no more action items for me

Tai Chi Chuan 37 Form

(Cheng Man Chin 37 Form)
(Print Form)

Editors: Dr. Gary Yuen and Shu-Ren Chang

Please don't be offened if you are a mother and you read this............im finally relizing something and dont know how to word it......my thoughts

I am at the age and have been for a while, the age for baring children, the age of wanting to, the age that i am supposed to. the age to want what i call the "american dream" to be married (i am) and squeeze one or many out as soon as possible and watch them grow up while you have a nine to five job and a nice house with a white picket fence.

I have been asking people who have children why they wanted them. i couldn't grasp the thought of why want to spend there entire life tending to another person. Don't you want to sleep, live your life according to what you want. Not what a child wants ect ect, when you have a child you cant even go to the bathroom / have peace, ect without being at their every beck and call..........and then it hit me.......... people want to have another person to share their life with ( i don't want to offend any body who reads this by saying this and i dont know how to word this) but it seems like maybe one has children because they are almost bored......... i mean you go to work and come home ,.......... to what......... i mean.......... there is only so many hobbies you can do before you want a lifetime/ living hobbie.................... that is rasing a human being.... ( im not meaning to call a child a hobbie persay) ....its almost like a more expensive more demanding pet that is a companion to do things with and to love and love you back. And you have to add in there the love you have for your husband therefore produce a baby ect............ someone to love and grow with............ so my point is, that i have been thinking that maybe once you are content in your own routine you are done being selfish in what you want to do, you want to settle down and, have a fun change in life such as rasing a child.

As of this point i talked my husband out of wanting children. Espessically seeing the very naughty ones ( which seem to me to be most)

Things that would have to happen in order for me to consider children........of course if is meant to be and what god has in store ect.

1. graduate college/not get fired from my jobs ect for at least 3ish years
2. Get a better paying job with bachlors double major i hope to recieve to afford children ( my job pays peanuts we had to have a friend move in to help pay bills )
3. Travel a few more places ( i think it would not be easy to travel with a child/and or afford a nanny
4. Get a newer better reliable car.
5. Get better at tai ch learn at least the 24 forms well.

My goals to have or we can not be parents, life is good but a struggle fiancially , im not meaning oh we are going to have to cut down on going out to eat, we are going to have to sell out two seater sports car and cut down on the bar scence. ect. I don't like it when people say you are never ready for a child because most people are........they jjust think they don't..... most people seem have family near by willing to help, a husband that makes great money and a live style to have children. My final thought is i would like someday when things are remotely smoothly to have a child with my fantastic/ amazing/loving husband.......i finally know what the mindset is to endure this next step in the "american dream)

" No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I think of this quite often every time I feel like i am not good enough. Good enough at my job, smart enough, motivated enough. It very hard for me to not let people make me feel inferior especially about my job( it makes me feel the most uncomfortable that i have ever been) Im working on this right now about my self. How can i help others ( as i have been, and am good at doing ) if i can not even help myself. I have to be my own motivational therapist. I am trying to get this thought pattern out of my head by learning from others and reading spirital books. I even think how i should feel about a certian subject. but it is hard to do. Okay now that i am not making any sense i am going to bed.

Thriving on the negative.

My mom called me last night depressed i still do not know why she was depressed. She told me she was worried about moving to the country, selling there home, buying a new one etc. I asked her a simple question........Why, then she stopped and said she didn't know why.

Just a tid bit of info:
(It has always been my parents dream to live on an acreage, my dad bought my mom a GPS system so she wouldn't get lost, and my parents are moving because my dad got a large promotion, so that my mom really wont have to work unless she wants to( part time in a green house or something) )

So my mom preceded to thank me stating that she felt better and didn't know whey she was depressed. I know many people like this. My friend J he stated he thrives on his anxiety and enjoys feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. I asked him why and he stated that he did not know. Why do people insist on thriving on the negative?

Eckart Tolle states In the power of now that negativity is a sign of being unconscious and that it can take a toll on you in the future and it can cause a downward spiral and you can not EVER become enlightened living in the unconscious. Unconsciousness is caused by dwelling what happened in the past (bad things, good things etc) or dwelling on the future.
Isn't that what we are all here to do become enlightened? Otherwise what are we here for?

People are strange............ Say hello at least.

I am not enjoying my job very much mostly because of the people i work with. I confided in my friend Jordan who, works for a pretty big company. I was telling him that no one in my area really talk to each other when they walk by. I work closely with a group of 20 people. He stated that he thought that that was very strange. When i first started. My colleagues and i would just walk past each other and said nothing i found this lack of acknowledgement or lack of manners per say very uncomfortable. So i stared saying hi to people, they now always say hi to me. if i already say hi, i make a goofy face or talk to them or acknowledge them. Also my colleagues seem to not want to work or help each other which i kind appalling. i am all about the teamwork and in my area i have none. So hopefully i can transfer out of the area by next Christmas. anyway. I thought i would write about this because it disturbs me. I have worked for this company for a year, it was kind of an after college dream, now it is a tainted dream. I have always made friends with people i work with. Here i have none. I get asked to lunch once in a great while and have never been asked to go to non-work related activities. I'm working on my shyness so i try to talk and be social as much as possible. But it is getting real old initiating conversation. Today i did a little test on my colleagues and didn't initiate conversation, (just saying hi) only a couple out of 20 talked to me. I have a reputation of having a good attitude. So i think i would be approachable. So my goal is to learn my job and do it to the best or your ability( as i always do) be my friendly self try not to be shy and the go back to school so i can move on with my life. If anyone reads this. Do you have this problem?

one of my favorite stones that i wore today

Sugilite attracts healing power to you. It teaches you to forgive yourself and others in this life, and it also helps you see the reasons/lessons you are in this life to learn. It can help you lose all of the negative emotions in your life. From Siri - Purple Sugilite is the crystal of the coming age. It removes physical blockages as well as heals and centers the being. Sugilite creates a state of good health in every one of the bodies--physical, emotional, etc.Sometimes what the Sugilite is combined with is just as important as the Sugilite itself. Sugulite often has Bustamite, Richterite (blue), Manganese (black), and/or Quartz in it as well. From Siri - Bustamite comes in four to five different colors ranging from orange, pink, brown, grey and reddish. Each color of Bustamite works differently. Grey works in the head for mental balance, as well as emotionally to keep you centered and calm.Vibration: 2, 3, and 7Astrological Sign: VirgoMANGANESEManganese is useful for bonding and cooperation within groups. It is grounding, providing support for the emotional and physical bodies. It helps you complete anything you start. It balances and grounds the physical and the emotional body.

A pretty accurate career test

http://www.careerpath.com/career-tests/colorcareercounselor.aspx
Welcome er!
COLOR CAREER COUNSELOR PROFILE:
•
Below: Your best and second best occupational categories.
•
Full Report: Includes...

»
An in depth, stay-on-track guide to your career options.

»
How to maximize on-the-job and interview strengths.

»
Street-Sense, obstacle-solving, leadership power moves.
introduction
The Dewey Color System® is the world's first and only validated, color-based personality career testing instrument. Based on our experience and your interests, your best suited occupations are listed below.
Best Occupational Category
You're a CREATOR
Key Words:Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional
These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.
CREATOR OCCUPATIONSSuggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.
CREATOR WORKPLACESConsider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.
Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.
2nd Best Occupational Category
You're a PERSUADER
Key Words:Witty, Competitive, Sociable, Talkative, Ambitious, Argumentative, and Aggressive
These enterprising types sell, persuade, and lead others. Positions of leadership, power, and status are usually their ultimate goal. Persuasive people like to take financial and interpersonal risks and to participate in competitive activities. They enjoy working with others inside organizations to accomplish goals and achieve economic success.
Career Counselor 3.0 — Your guide to success

TO GET YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS!
This section of your report is organized into four sections that will guide you towards recognizing the right career fit, reducing workplace stress, and maximizing your leadership skills.
•
Section I: You and Your TeamThis personality overview section highlights your natural workplace talents—the tasks you pursue with passion. You'll learn how your natural strengths complement those of your coworkers and how, joining forces, you can resolve on-the-job dilemmas.
•
Section II: Your Key To SuccessHere you discover your capacity for dispelling disruption and maximizing profitability. Use this proven, beyond-self-perception advice to create a more positive career path free of detours.
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Section III: Managing Strengths and Weaknesses Your evaluation's highest and lowest scores result in this section's recommendations for staying on-track in your career and reversing wrong turns. In focusing on your talents and missteps, you'll re-stoke your energy and enthusiasm for managing costly mistakes.
•
Section IV: Leadership Power Moves This final section identifies your "street sense," those power moves that turn obstacles into insignificant details. Here suggestions based on your color-ranked evaluations will guide you towards making the most of an interview or harnessing your fast-paced workday.

TO GET YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS!
Click here to see a sample of the full report.


Share the Color Career Counselor with your friends!

My favorite stones

Moldavite is a tektite which is found in Czechoslovakia and was formed during meteoritic action which produced a “stew field” of this beautiful green
stone. It is one of the rarest varieties of tektite, was formed over 15 million years ago, and is in the only known “gem quality” stone of extra-terrestrial
origin.

Moldavite is a stone to serve the inhabitants of this planet. It stimulates cooperation between those of extra-terrestrial origins and those who are
experiencing life on Earth. It carries one beyond the mirage of life, to a home from which one has been absent, providing the image of eternity and the
vision and energy to translate the image into reality.

It holds immense potential, for direct interdimensional accessing of higher dimensional galactic energies, to draw into the Earth plane those thought-
patterns and light-vibrations which are optimal to ones preparation for ascension and illumination. It facilitates strong, clear, and direct interconnected-
ness between ones consciousness and the higher planes of light. It expands the scope and the magnitude of the vibrational spectrums which one can
approach, while allowing for a more encompassing passageway to those spectrums of which one already has access; that is, one will see more clearly
and will see with an expansion of vision within the vibrational territory to which one has ventured, and/or one will be provided the inter-connection with
the multi-dimensional horizons not yet experienced.

Moldavite works quite well at the third-eye, the throat chakra, and in the area of the crown chakra.

When used in the areas of the hands, it has also stimulated the capability to feel the form of the message and sometimes the form of the communicator
from where the message comes.

It works well with quartz, which adds the factors of amplification, stabilization, and a wide energy range, to the focused and specific access capabilities
of moldavite.

It works extremely well with sugilite, celestite, aquamarine, diamond, lapis, and opal, producing overwhelming combinations of qualities which are quite
conducive to healing. From Melody's Love is In the Earth.
Besed Nice, valued for their color, texture, and beauty. Moldavite is one of the rarest varieties of tektite.


Carnelian Stones: This gemstone is believed to cleanse the blood and also improves ones outlook. It has been believed for a long time that the carnelian gemstone stops bleeding and helps heals wounds. The Egyptians believed that the carnelian gem stone had special powers in afterlife. They also believed that carnelian amulets would help the passage of the soul into the next world. This is the reason why numerous types of carnelian jewelry have been found in the ancient Egyptian tombs. In Europe carnelian jewelry was worn with the belief that, it would provide protection against evil and also ensure continuation of hope, good luck and comforts. This was strongly believed by the Greeks and Romans who used the carnelian gemstone in signet rings and cameos. The Asians in India and Tibet also believed in the special powers of carnelian gems and wore it as pendants, amulets and other carnelian jewelry.

My favorite stones

RRose Quartz is the love stone! Adds positive love energy to relationships. Compassion and forgiveness. Calming, helps clear stored anger, resentment, jealousy, fears. Replaces negativity with harmony. Helps to balance upper four chakras and eases sexual/emotional imbalances. Enhances self-confidence and creativity. Aids kidneys and circulatory system, promotes release of impurities.




Tigers eye
Grounding, balancing, earthy. Promotes optimism, psychic ability and intuition. Stimulates awareness and understanding. Has been used to attract and maintain wealth

.

Ready for a new and better year.

This year has been a very rough year for my husband and me. I have been trying to learn a very math and science oriented job, with my boss nagging me to get my busy trainers to train me when they are short of help and are doing a million things at the same time. I got a threat from my boss that if i wasn't trained on direct transfers, the cip and half of a filter train by the 2nd quarter, he would have me transferred to a different area( needless to say i don't work well with threats, i first get very nervous and the a slight bigger motivation in my head that i can never act on and the then i get this "screw it" type attitude because i give 110% at my job so if people want more i cant give it to them) well needless to say i didn't get my raise that i was told i would get at my 3 months of starting, so money has been tight because i took a pay cut do to Pfizer have better benefits,vacation ect. my Pekingese Ambroshus scratched her eye needing a big surgery that cost us over $800. i found out everyone at my old job (as an animal control officer) received $4.00 and hour raises. So work has been the highlight of stress in my life this years. Also with the lack of money our central air conditioner when out and we didn't have air for two weeks this summer when it was 90 degree weather, our heater went out and our close drier went out. or bathroom sink was leaking bad so we couldn't use it. but thanks to my handy dad and our appliance repair program we have with our gas company we got them all fixed for free luckily. my grandparent got put into a nursing home an i was helping my mom with that.

on a more positive note

I woke up one day and all of a sudden had an immense amount of motivation . I have my entire up stairs organized and clean including closets, the fridge, cabinets ect. I have a cleaning schedule And even a budget worked out for next year so we will be able to save more money. My good friend Jordan that i have been friends with for 15 years has moved in with us and will stay for a year and pay rent to us. I must admit i love being home owner so i can be the land lord.
So my goal is to keep my motivation with help from entities above and i think it will be a lot more positive year, next year. I also am not really enjoying my new job do to all my other colleauges being lazy and i get stuck doing their work, my boss does nothing about this situation so i became very depressed and bitter, untill..... i found out i can go back to college and Pfizer will pay for it. All i have to do is pass the class with a B or a C i prefer a B and also i can not get fired. I just need to concentrate, pay attention to detail, and have a positive attitude

Christmas gift for my mother in law, and my attempt at being creative

This is my Favorite photo i have ever took. I took this this with my 5 metapixal casio exislim. This was taken at The Big Island, Hawaii. My husband and i went there on our honeymoon. I am hopefully going to blow this picuture up to poster size, frame it, and make a seashell frame to go in my mother-in-laws beach themed bathroom. all she has as far as i know for art work is a silly photo of a parrot that is too small for the wall it is on

my secret ingredient for christmas fudge.

I was making fudge for the first time and was a half a cup short of choclate chips. So i had cinnamon chips that i found at a super save grocerie store. So i added cinnamon chips to my half empty 1 cup measuring cup, and made the fudge as usual. I also added walnuts. The fudge litterally tasted like christmas, well i thought so. I have had close friends of mine ( who happen to be a great experienced baker, a picky eater and a great cook) tell me that that was the best fudge they have ever had. Yea GO ME!!! Even though fudge is really easy to make. I am very much in the christmas spirit this year so i am going to bake more and decorate christmas presents fancy this year. Yea for motivation.

rare stars

Jupiter and venus were able to be seen near the moon tonight and shining very bright. i checked it out i guess it is rare that you are able to see both the planets without the telescope ( which i have one)

Back to school........back to school to show my daddy im not a fool

Well i have an associates of applied science degree in veterinary technology and my job(pfizer) will pay for me to go back to school. i haven't been in school for at least 4 years i took some classes at a local community college but i did not enroll in a program .Pfizer will pay for classes up to $10,000.0 a year and i don't have to pay it back. i only have to get a c i believe and they will pay for the tution books and fees. Im taking advantage of this program in january and i am nervous. I pray i will keep my motivation and that i get a b or better in the class. my job right now sucks to be very blunt. the team work is terible i had three hours of overtime tonite and my trainer and i were working our buns off with the other two colleages were literally standing around doing nothing. i was very offened by this at first because i feel i have strong work ethic and i feel i am a very hard worker, im not the smartest person in the world but i have a lot of common sense. i feel that the only way i can continue to work with thes people is if i am going back to school. the pay at this job wasn't as good as the last and i feel that if i go back to school i will be in an advantage.
I don't see my self working at least in the area i am in for a long time. i know if i take classes it is taking an advantage, to not get taken advantage of, like i have before. i will get off work on time.
So in a nut shell another improvement in my life is to go back to school.

A random thought .....about owning things

My parent's farm house burnt down out side of schuyler, ne in 1985 while we were away and all of their belongings were burned in the fire.

What are things any way? Just memories. We can't take them to heaven when we die. So why is everyone so obsessed with belongings toys, new trucks, big screen tv's ( to watching meaningless, mind numbing television, dancing with the stars, desperate house wives ect)
why is having stuff, toys ect the most to people in this life.

What are 5 things that are the most important to you? and why?

1. My drawing and poems my amazing artist of a husband drew/wrote for me. When we were first dating
2. My beloved dogs( they make me happy, content, when im with them i feel peace in a world full of caious.
3. My wedding photos
4. My stone collection
5. my wedding rings

people are not encluded in this list.

I have been decluttering my house this last month. I have been throwing things away,giving things away. I have the issue of my stuff owning me rather then me owning my stuff. It seems like the human race works to get money to by more stuff rather then to pay attention to what wer are here to do........learn. i have just been taking into perspective that i dont need to work another job to buy more stuff but to budget and take the time to learn what i need to learn in this life.

New to blogging or anything like it.

This is my first blog. I thought i would journal my thoughts on a new thinking/living process called living in the now by the author Eckart Tolle. I am finally starting to know myself to know what i truly like, what opinions i have and how i react to things. My new year's resloution was to get organized and plan a buget ect ect and i let that go by the way side. I all of a sudden have a jolt of motivation not to just float along and worry about life. As Eckart Tolle stated its pointless to worry about the past it already happend there is nothing you can do about it. And lots of people spend time planning and looking towards the future (as i am slowly getting out of doing) when you should be worried about what is happening now. I have always had social and paranoid anxiety that has stopped me from doing what i have wanted or thought i wanted to do. And by following what this author my life has improved by 80%.